Oh Sweet Cowardice

Image via Flickr by Elvert Barnes

Image via Flickr by Elvert Barnes

10 minute free write

Prompt: If I have to deal with any more super villains, I’m giving up.

If I have to deal with any more super villains, I’m giving up. I mean, seriously, $12/hour with no vision or dental, and I’m supposed to go up against some guy who can shoot fire out of his hands? Gimme a break.

Like the other day, I was walking through the mall, no problem. Caught a couple of punk kids shoplifting and put the fear of god into them. Told ’em, “If I ever sees you again, you gonna wish I passed you off to the cops.” They almost peed themselves, it was great. Then I went for a donut. Not one of those glazed pieces of garbage either, this was covered in frosting and sprinkles, the real deal.

However, no sooner had I brushed the crumbs off my mustache, then a shadow passed over the food court’s glass ceiling. I looked up at a spiky black zeppelin with speakers lining the bottom. “What the heck are those for?” I remember thinking.

A solid wave of death metal struck the mall. The glass skylights blew, showering the food court in broken glass as families ran for cover in the Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Figures in brightly colored spandex repelled from the zeppelin and I knew that I stood at a crossroads. I could leap into action and arrest these hooligans with nothing but my taser and zipcuffs, or I could crouch down behind the donut counter and hope they didn’t see me.

I guess you know which option I chose.

Cowardice never tasted so sweet.

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